Bachelorette Blog: Week 3 (Night 1) - It's All Too Much!

Welcome to the first installation of the recap of this dramatic two night television event!

All night I just kept saying (out loud and to myself) this is too much! It was all too funny, too silly, too crazy, just too much! Hence the title of my blog. We start where we left off, with all the guys hating on Chad and setting the stage for a throw down between Chad and Evan. There's a lot of stuff between Chad and Evan this episode and we'll get to that but I just want to start by saying that Chad is there for the right reasons, he wants to find love, he likes JoJo and is progressing at a normal pace for developing a relationship with her. He just also happens to have an abrasive personality and these guys are pushing his buttons. And while accusing him of being on steroids goes a little too far, the way he is being portrayed on the show is pretty much in line with that assumption.

Okay, with that let's start with the first date. This week we get 1 group date and 2 one-on-one dates.

"Let's Get Physical"

One-on-one with Chase

Yay, Chase didn't get a date last week but he did have that super cute fireplace snow date at the cocktail party. For this date they do a little hot yoga, and it sure did get steamy! The instructor starts by asking them how long they have been intimate.  Ummmm…. Never? They met like a week ago! This reminds me a little bit of that crazy date with Chris Soules and Carly, anyone else remember that?

When the instructor shows them the angry-gasm, I about lost it! Finally, they sit intertwined with their hearts and third eye in alignment, and it was very intimate. I wonder how long they actually sat like that because it seemed like a long time, and then they ended up making out. Of course. So after that experience they are feeling a connection, it would be hard not to after that. Apparently, JoJo also got to see Chase's funny and playful side during this date but all we saw was CHEMISTRY!!!

Afterward they got to have some real conversations and we learned that Chase comes from a family of divorce and that's something he never wants. Going in to marriage is a "one and done" situation for him but he feels like this process could work! If it feels right in the end he would be ready to get engaged. This date, I think propelled them a lot further. He's one of the first guys that we're seeing JoJo have an actual connection and spark with.

Then they got a personal serenade from the guy from Lady Antebellum!!! And Chase cried because of all the feelings. I heart Chase a little bit right now.

"Love Has No Secrets"

Group date: Chad, Evan, Vinny, Ali, Jordan, Alex, Nick, Grant, Wells, James, black guy I don't remember, Daniel

Wow, so much happened on this group date that I almost forgot how it started. First of all, Chad doesn't even want to go on the date. Jordan takes him down a notch by explaining to him how disrespectful to the other guys it is that he's taking for granted the fact that he even gets a date this week. Then it got really ugly and Chad called Jordan a 27-year-old failed football player. After Chad disses Jordan, Alex just started tearing in to Chad about what a piece of shit he is. Then Chad's all "You wanna go?"…. And to quote both Ron Burgundy and whoever said it on the show last night, "That escalated quickly."

So right away we're off to a bumpy start with the group date.

The guys meet JoJo at a theater where it gets awkward really fast when the performer "has an orgasm" on stage. They soon learn that they are at a show about "sex stories" and they are going to share their most embarrassing sex stories for the audience. Chad is not into this. He doesn't want to participate because his sex life is no one's business. The guys try to explain (AGAIN) to him that it's supposed to be fun and funny. But he doesn't care.

Evan on the other hand thinks he has this in the bag because, well, he's an erectile dysfunction doctor. Meanwhile, JoJo just thinks this is a great opportunity to gauge how comfortable the guys are talking about sex because intimacy is important in a relationship and being able to communicate about sex is too.

The funniest part of the guy's prepping for this was when the producers ask Daniel what his favorite bodily fluid of all time is? And he says, "Poo's pretty funny." Agreed Daniel. Agreed.

Most of the guys have fun with the challenge and tell some pretty crazy embarrassing sex stories. And so Evan decides to fuck with Chad… poor choice Evan. Turns out, first of all it's not that funny and second of all this makes Chad so mad. He tries to play it like it's no big deal but this is specifically why he gets made not his made up excuse that "Evan pushed him". So yet again, Chad does not really participate in the challenge. Instead of telling a funny story, he brings JoJo onstage and tries to kiss her. Unfortunately for him, she turns her face away in front of everyone and dodged the kiss. Burn. 

The evening portion of the date is held at a venue called Big Daddy's… strange theme this week.

First we hear from Jordan and he tells JoJo that he has only ever said I love you to one other person. He opened up to her about some mistakes that he's made in past relationships and what he has learned from them. These two are solid for the time being.

Finally, after creeping around and basically stalking her time with Nick, Chad gets some time alone with JoJo and she asks him about all the drama that's been happening on the date. What I really like about JoJo is that she is just straight with him and asks him what's going on every time they sit down. She sets him straight when he needs to be and brings out sweeter sides to him. That's how I know he's there for the right reasons. He honestly believes that they are building a foundation for a relationship and to tell the truth, they are. She's really confused by him and his behavior though because she sees some nice sides to him while everyone else is warning her against him.

Unfortunately, Evan interrupts their time and if it had been anyone else Chad probably wouldn't have cared but because it was Evan he loses his shit. Honestly, the producers probably told Evan to go up at that moment to create a little something dramatic. During Evan's alone time, he gives JoJo an ultimatum (that he doesn't follow through on) and says that if she keeps Chad, he won't feel comfortable staying. Which puts her in a bad position. In the end, she asks Evan to stay and offers him the rose but tells him that she's not ready to let Chad go.

When Evan comes back with the rose Chad looks really confused, I thought he was wondering if this meant he was going home. Then he just completely calls out JoJo's decision to give Evan the rose and questions that she actually has feelings for him. She tells him not to be disrespectful and that she doesn't like seeing that side of him. She does this in front of the other guys and they are giddy about him getting schooled by her.

"Let's Kick It Old School"

One-on-one with James T.

For James Taylor's one-on-one (yes his name is James Taylor and he is a singer/songwriter…) JoJo takes him for swing dancing lessons and they get to be all dressed up 40's style. It turns out James is a terrible dancer and they definitely struggle with the swing dancing lesson. It's pretty cute. After their lesson, they try to join the street performance and then ended up just free styling because they don't know what they are doing. But they have a good time and that's probably the most I've liked James T. so far this season.

They have a nice friendship but JoJo wants to see if they can break through that to something more romantic. After hearing about his insecurities, she assures him that he is "the whole package" and gives him a rose. And then he sings to her, again. Okay my heart might be black because I don't love all the singing, but it was sweet I guess and JoJo loves it so I guess that's what matters.

Daniel & Chad's Heart-to-Heart

They previewed this on social media so I had already seen it but the highlights are that Daniel compares Chad to Hitler and Donald Trump and Chad has the best quote of the season so far when he says "Let's not pretend I'm Hitler". Basically, Daniel just wants Chad to take it down a notch, he's trying to be a good friend. Somehow, Daniel has grown on me, that weird canuck is an odd duck and I like it! 

PS all of this conversation goes down while Chad is eating a raw sweet potato like an apple. That little weirdy.

After Chad is taken down by JoJo on the group date, things don't get any better. Derek doesn't feel safe sleeping next to Chad. He can feel the tension and is waiting for him to snap. So they decide a security guard needs to stand watch over Chad. I think we must have missed something major because from what I have seen they might be going a little over board. Chad's totally right, these guys are being pretty sensitive.

Guys, let's be real, he isn't that bad. He's not going to kill anyone. He gets along just fine with Daniel. The guys need to stop being such wieners!

Finally as the show concludes, Chris Harrison comes and tells the guys there will be no cocktail party but that there will be an all-day pool party! As Chris is leaving, Evan pulls him aside and basically tattles on Chad. He just hopes that Chris will force JoJo's hand and make Chad leave. Instead, Chris tells Chad he needs to go settle things with Evan (and the rest of the guys). This is the last straw for Chad. He's ready to fight.  So we'll see how that ends up on tomorrows very dramatic conclusion!